Letter to a friend

 Hello,

I'm writing this because you are someone who has been important to me over the years.

You had a significant impact on a lot of my development through my late teens and twenties. 

Out of respect for you and the person you've been, I thought it would be only right for me work through this recent interaction on paper where I can flesh out my thoughts. 

The recent interaction we had happened very quickly without really a chance to explore what was going on.

First, if I upset or angered you in any way, I apologize.

The comment about special needs was an emotional and defensive response because I felt like you were attacking me, and (in the moment) I meant it to be insulting and offensive. 

I apologize for that. I'm sure you know that feelings and my actions don't reflect a generally ableist attitude.

I do a lot of work with people who are Neurodivergent and etc.

I personally have been treated like shit and discriminated against because of my differences. I was officially Diagnosed as AuDHD a few years ago.

I disclosed it to my previous employer (stupidly), and they harassed me, refused to help me out with some simple requests, and eventually terminated me without giving a reason, without any write ups. I was actually out performing my peers at the time. I had received a bonus and etc.

I sued them afterwards and received a settlement.

Moving on...

I understand that emotions and tempers are high about certain subject matter. Especially anything within the political realm at the moment. There's a lot of horrible stuff going on and a lot of unnecessary hatred. A lot of people are ignorant.

I was surprised and caught off guard by your message to me.

I do understand that sometimes I get myself into trouble by being pedantic about things.

I understood the point of your post, and I already agreed with it (as I said). 

I'm trying to understand your perspective, which seems to be that me being pedantic about the Nazis and Christianity is akin to defending them. 

I think I can understand why, because a lot of white nationalists and neo Nazi types will try to obfuscate and dance around truth, or apologize and try to lessen the impact of things.

What I don't understand is how that specific fact, as related to Christianity is defending Nazis, because the post was about Christianity. Right? 

Not specifically about Nazis.

The Nazis used Christianity as a tool to pervert people. But I would argue that they weren't really Christian. 

But even if we disagreed on whether they were Christian or not, that doesn't diminish how horrible they were / are. 

Right?

Or at least that's my thoughts. I don't see how arguing about whether they were Christian makes them less or more horrible.

If some Buddhists decided to commit a genocide, I wouldn't think that their religion would necessarily matter or not over what they did.

Unless they did it in the name of that religion somehow... But even then, it would seem antithetical to Buddhism to do that.

The Nazi leadership was involved in pagan and occult stuff. 

But even that I would say is not really relevant.

I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm trying to think through this in real time as I write.

If you thought I was wrong, and that the Nazis were Christian, then why wouldn't you just tell me I was wrong or why I was wrong?

I don't know if I sound super autistic right now...

The second thing I wanted to talk about was you on a more personal level.

I know that you are very passionate. You're an advocate and an ally for LGBTQAI+ and BIPOC communities. It seems like activism, political, and social action are important to you.

I respect that.

I have noticed that as you become more ideologically centered, at times you seem to have little patience with me.

For instance messaging me with an ultimatum after a comment that you felt was apologetic towards Nazis.

I hate Nazis. I have no love for the right wing movements in our country.

I'm an atheist. I'm a member of the satanic temple.

My exact political views are probably not as “far left” as you, but they're considerably more left leaning than most people.

I wouldn't never intentionally “simp” for Nazis.

I feel like you, as my friend, would know this.

I miss the Russ that was more patient and sympathetic with me. 

I can be a bonehead. I can be ignorant. I can be wrong. I can make mistakes.

We all do. We're human. We're all flawed.

You're not alone. It seems like people who ideologically centered in political and activist spaces are often less patient with people. 

I have a friend who an activist. They work with kids. They're autistic, non binary, and they advocate for kids, autism, and gender. 

One they taught me (even though I fail to live up to it) is being patient with people who aren't where you're at.

We try not to jump on people who use incorrect language or etc, of they appear to have good intentions.

For instance, someone who is not well versed with the autism community may use function language, because they're unaware that a lot people in the autism community don't like it or find it offensive. 

Many times we get hung up on specific words and lose the context or intent.

I often get lost in the weeds.

I did not intend to simp for Nazis, perhaps it seemed like I was missing the point of your post, and just commenting to disagree. 

I was intending to agree with the overall tone and message, but I disagreed with the specifics of that particular historical party. 

The other thing I might have missed is if it was intended to mean Neo Nazis. And not Nazi proper.

I also feel like, as someone who has loved you and cared about you a great deal (and believes you cared about me as well) you might be more willing to take a deep breath and consider what's going on before blocking or cutting ties with me.

You know I'm not a Nazi. You know I'm ableist. You know I'm a flawed human being who makes mistakes, but ultimately cares about people. 

I don't know what your current feelings and political takes are, but I'd wager I largely agree with you on almost everything.

I apologize for being pedantic. Maybe a super autistic moment for me. 

But I would hope in the future that we coudl have conversations together and explain how we feel, rather than blocking each other. 

I shouldn't insult you either. I used that insult because I knew it would piss you off. I felt defensive and reacted emotionally.

You're a beautiful human being. You're compassionate and caring. You're a champion and an ally for others.

Let's direct our anger towards the people hurting us and our friends.

Wish you the best.

Love,

Steve